A True Mentor With a Servant's Heart

Throughout history the passing on of wisdom and practical
knowledge has been done by mentoring from parents, grand
parents, teachers, leaders, coaches, coworkers and friends.

The word goes back to Homer's Odyssey a
story which tells how before leaving on his long journey,
Odysseus asked a close friend to watch over and guide
his son. That friend's name was Mentor.

Some observations from the book by Marc Freedman,
"The kindness of strangers":

The 7 habits of highly effective mentors

1. Listening:

It is the only way mentors can understand what people
are up against and where opportunities for developing
the relationship can be discovered.

2. Building a relationship:

In the hurry to make a difference, mentors can forget to
take time to build a relationship and establish a firm
connection. this means carefully cultivating trust..It
means being patient. Many people will test mentors
to see if they are for real.

3. Respecting boundaries:

When mentors ask people personal questions before
a solid relationship has been established, the most
common response is silence. People will clam up.
Mentors who do not respect their mentees' needs
for privacy are often quick to alienate them.

4. Being sensitive to differences:

It is necessary to realize that mentors and those
they work with come from different worlds, a reality
even for mentors who have grown up disadvantaged.
This means being aware of the embarrassment a
person might feel about being poor.

5. Providing support and challenges:

Successful mentors are consistently there for people,
delivering a sustained message 'You are important"
when problems arise, effective mentors resist telling
people what to do and instead work with them to
address the problems. These mentors are eventually
able to strike a balance between supporting and
challenging both nurturing people and pushing them
toward their goals.

6. Acknowledging reciprocity:

While mentors often have to provide the initiative
early in the relationship as trust is being established,
mentoring is a two-way street. Growth, benefits and
struggles are present on both sides, and mentors
who are able to convey they are there for mutual
exchange, not just solve problems stand the greatest
chance of making a solid connection.

7. Being realistic:

Few mentors turn lives around, but mentors who help
people move toward achievable goals can make a real
contribution. Often this means having thick skin,
tolerating unreturned phone calls, accepting the
cultural gaps that must be bridged. In the end, few
virtues in mentoring rival on growing commitment and
genuine caring.



Taken from an email from Ernie Hines to Michael Dlouhy

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